Monday, June 12, 2017

I know God will only give me challenges I can handle - June 12th

I can't believe that my mission is over. I am leaving tomorrow morning to go to Trinidad stay there until Thursday morning and then I am on my way to Germany. 

This week isn't how I expected it to be at all. I thought that everything will go smoothly and perfectly. I thought we would just have a full schedule every day. Hahaha, well it was quite the opposite. In fact all of our appointments that were planned got cancelled. And contacting wasn't very successful either. I can't remember when it was but one of these days I got really really sick. I could barely move and so that meant I had to stay in the WHOLE day. And I was SO frustrated with myself and just the whole situation. I prayed to God and asked Him to help me, so that I can go out and teach because that is all I really wanted to do. During my prayer I felt peaceful I was still sick the next day but healthy enough to go out and teach.

 Roasting marshmallows and making Smores for my last P-Day

We met a man named Roy. Zuster Jordan and I locked our bikes and saw him sitting on a bench. So we sat next to him and started having a conversation about God. As he was going off about something random I had a very strong impression to ask him a question. I kind of just brushed it off as it would be rude to interrupt him. But the impression just wouldn't leave so I then interrupted him and asked: "Roy, are you happy?"
He looks down and says :"No, I am not happy" 
He then tells us how is grandchild of 8 months old passed away and just feels hopeless, he felt that God has abandoned him. 
We then talked about God's love and it was just such a spiritual moment. We hand him a pamphlet of the gospel of Jesus Christ and told him that this is the recipe of happiness.

1 O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.

2 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understands my thought afar off.

3 Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.

4 For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether.

Zuster Baker, Zuster Barker & Molijn
Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, cannot attain unto it.

On Sunday I had to bear my departing testimony and well long story short they had a lot of people assigned to speak and so when it was my turn to bear my testimony it was already time to close the meeting. During the meeting I was just praying to know what I need to say as I wouldn't be able to give my talk anymore and so then I felt like I needed to share the struggles that I had this week.

So when I went up I told the congregation how I needed to have a Priesthood blessing a couple of weeks ago because I was starting to get anxiety about going home. Family please don't take this the wrong way, I love you and I can not wait to see you, but I am sad to not be a missionary anymore and because I just don't know what to expect. In my blessing I was told that there are many challenges ahead of me and that it will be hard.

Which honestly just freaked me out even more about going home. It also said how my life won't be like how I have planned it to be like but I will still be happy if I continue to keep the commandments of God. I then realized during my testimony that I need these challenges in my life so that I can progress.

I am forever grateful that I have come on a mission it has changed me forever. I am grateful for the challenges that I have had and the challenges that our Heavenly Father has in store for me. 

 I know that God will only give me challenges that I can handle. I remember when I got interviewed by my Stake President (before the mission) and he asked me what I am looking forward to on my mission.  
I told him that I am excited for the hard times, for the times when I need to rely on faith, when I don't have another choice but to rely on my Heavenly Father. He looked at me completely shocked.  

Romans 12:12,21

Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulationcontinuing instant in prayer;
Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

I will miss being a missionary and seeing the people here but I am excited for this next chapter in my life. 
I will see you soon. 
I love you all so much.
Thank you for all your support and love!

Zuster Vernes 

On an exchange with Zuster Barker

A lady rejected us so as we were walking away, she ran after us and gave us Pompelmoes

Huge grape

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